


Into the Inferno

by Wi1dflower



Category: The Rook (TV 2019)
Genre: Allergies, Annoying roommate, Bees, Blindfolds, Classes, First Kiss, Heartbreak, Misunderstandings, Multi, Running in the woods, Self-Defense Training, Sex Dreams, Showers, Stealing Food, Strip Tease, Young Love, breaking curfew, garden
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:20:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23666788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wi1dflower/pseuds/Wi1dflower
Summary: A Slow Burn prequel.As young EVAs in Glengrove, Myfanwy isn't convinced that Gestalt is really one person. She suggests they play a little game to test if they're telling the truth.
Relationships: Gestalt (The Rook) / Myfanwy Thomas
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36





	Into the Inferno

The darkness enveloped her in its cold embrace. A shiver of anticipation ran down her spine as she spiraled deep into the depths of her subconscious. It was always the same dream that plagued her sleep each night. It tormented her mercilessly and casted shadows of doubt on everything she believed to be true. But it wasn’t a nightmare. 

It was something far more dangerous. 

In the dream, she was lost and alone in a bleak, impenetrable blackness. 

The absolute nothingness surrounded her, consumed her, held her prisoner in its infinite chasm and refused to let go. Stifled by an unnatural silence, the complete deprivation of her senses threatened to drive her to the brink of insanity. It was as if she ceased to exist in that surreptitious place. With each passing second, she felt herself fading away like a wisp of smoke, rising from the red ember of a burnt-out match.

An icy chill settled in her bones at the thought of vanishing into the void. Her instincts screamed at her to escape the boundless oblivion, to scratch and claw her way back to the surface. But she had long since given up on that endeavor. It didn't matter how deep into the abyss she dived or how desperately she searched for a way out.

They always found her first. 

There was a sharp tingling sensation at the base of her skull, and she knew they were already close. The atmosphere hummed with static electricity, so charged the hair on her arms stood straight up. Powerless to resist the pull, they gravitated toward her like she was their own personal sun in the eternal night. A shining beacon of light, she couldn't hide from them even if she tried. 

Taking a deep breath, she reached out blindly as if to touch one of them. Her hands grasped for a lock of hair or a wad of clothing—something that she could use to anchor herself to them. But there was only empty space. Her shoulders dropped with the weight of her disappointment. Although their absence wasn't entirely unexpected, she still hated the suspense of not knowing when they would reveal themselves.

Then, she felt their fingers, smooth and slender, suddenly entwine with hers. A wave of warmth washed over her as Eliza brought their clasped hands between her breasts to feel the beating of her heart. Beneath her knuckles, the beat was strong and steady, whereas her own heart was racing so fast she thought it would burst.

Without warning, Alex wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. He nuzzled his head in the crook of her neck, the feather-light brush of his bouncy curls tickling the shell of her ear. She could feel him smiling as he held her close against his chest.

Robert appeared at her left side. He gently raised her other hand to his lips and pressed a lingering kiss to her open palm. Her cheeks flushed as she felt his slight stubble prick her sensitive skin. The action made her weak in the knees every time—a fact he knew and used to his advantage.

Teddy stepped forward to trail kisses across her collarbone. He slowly worked his mouth up her throat and along her jaw, his hot breath sending shockwaves through her entire body. His lips were hard and bruising as he sucked and licked and nipped. 

While his mouth laid claim to hers, a delicate hand slid underneath her camisole to cup her breast. She was in sensory overload being surrounded by all of them, unable to distinguish where they began and she ended. An unbearable ache began to build between her thighs, and even though she hadn’t uttered a single word, they seemed to understand the urgency of her desire because another hand worked its way down to her underwear. Long fingers pushed aside the thin material, but before she could brace herself for their intrusion, an incessant noise blared in the background and roused her to consciousness. 

And the illusion was shattered.

An enraged voice cut through the clangor. “Wake up, Myfanwy! Your alarm has been going off for thirty minutes, and it’s driving me fucking mad!”

Myfanwy buried her head into her pillow, willing herself to fall back asleep and pick up where the dream had left off. Her body was still alight with their touch, and she craved the release only they could give her. But as she laid there listening to the pestilent _beep-beep-beep_ of her alarm, she knew the moment was gone.

Reluctantly, she rolled on to her side and cracked open an eye to look at her irate roommate. “What time is it?” she asked groggily.

“It’s half-past seven, which you would know if you turned off the _fucking_ alarm,” Lara snapped as she ran a brush roughly through her wet hair. Thick, black strands clung to the bristles, then rained down to the floor beside her desk.

“Shit,” Myfanwy rasped, reaching over to silence the alarm clock. In her haste, she stumbled to find the switch, inadvertently moving the machine further away from herself. Throwing off the fleece blanket that had tangled between her legs during the night, she snatched the alarm firmly in her hands from the bedside table and hit the power button with more force than was probably necessary. “I’m going to be late.”

“You were moaning in your sleep again,” Lara said, nonchalantly. She rummaged through her small cosmetics bag and took out a tube of mascara. Pulling off the cap, she stared unblinking into a compact mirror as she applied a coat to her lower lashes. “That’s, like, the third time this week.”

Myfanwy’s breath caught in her throat. All the air in the room seemed to disappear and she struggled to think of what to say. Standing in front of their shared wardrobe, she tried to hide the fact that her hands were shaking by hooking her thumbs under the waistband of her shorts. She pushed them all the way down until they pooled around her ankles, then kicked them aside. “Sorry. I’ve been dreaming a lot lately.”

It was technically the truth. At least, it was as much truth as she was willing to admit. She didn't dare go into further detail unless she wanted all of Glengrove House to know the real reason she couldn't sleep. The last secret she’d naively shared with her new roommate had spread like wildfire among the EVAs and she couldn’t risk that happening again. Not this time. _What would everyone think of her if they knew she was fantasizing about all four Gestalt siblings?_

“Based on the sounds I’ve been hearing, your dreams are either really good or really bad.” Lara screwed the cap back on her mascara, then spun in her chair so she could face Myfanwy. After a few seconds of intense scrutiny, the corners of her lips turned up in a knowing smirk. “My guess is good.”

Myfanwy bowed her head to conceal the rising blush on her cheeks behind the curtain of her hair. Securing her towel around her torso, she bent down to gather her shower supplies from the bottom shelf of the wardrobe. Then, she rushed out of the door before her roommate could read anything else from her response.

A cloud of steam hit her in the face as soon as she entered the showers. The sound of running water filled the room, instantly putting her at ease. But as she moved through the aisles, she found that every stall was occupied. With only one option left, she made her way to the back wall to sit on one of the benches while she waited. And there, wrapped in a thick white towel, Eliza sat alone. She bit down on her thumbnail, staring unseeingly at the tiled floor at her feet.

Myfanwy smiled at the sight.

It wasn’t the only habit the Gestalt siblings shared, but it was the only one they couldn’t break. Since the day they had become friends, she had tried to make them stop biting their nails. It was to no avail, though. She told herself that she didn’t want them to hurt themselves, reasoned that they were putting themselves at risk of injury or infection. In reality, she just wanted the excuse to touch them, to feel their skin beneath the pads of her fingers as she took their hands in her own.

Still, it made her worry that they only seemed to bite their nails around her, as if she made them nervous. Or, perhaps they only felt comfortable showing their nervousness around her. They once said that their greatest fear was to be seen as weak. But she didn’t think they were so afraid to be that way with her.

The noise from the showers overpowered the sound of her footsteps, and the steam offered enough cover that she was able to approach the bench without being noticed. Then, in one swift motion, she sat down beside Eliza and pulled her hand away from her mouth. “Bad habit.”

Eliza’s eyes widened in surprise, and then she smiled. “I didn’t think you were coming.”

Myfanwy’s stomach fluttered. “Were you waiting for me?”

“Oh,” Eliza hesitated, looking down at her hands in her lap. “No. Not exactly. I’ve been waiting a while for a shower to open up, and I hadn’t seen you in here. I know you prefer to take your showers in the morning. That’s all.”

Myfanwy hid her disappointment by reorganizing the various bottles in her caddy. She sorted them by type of product before turning all the labels in the same direction. Once she finished, she carefully crossed one leg over the other and leaned her head back against the wall. “I overslept. Again. I’m only awake now because Lara started screaming at me. I think one of these days she’s going to strangle me in my sleep.”

Eliza’s expression turned deadly serious. “I can talk to her if—”

The sound of off-key singing interrupted her as a girl at the opposite end of the room stepped out of a shower stall and shamelessly belted the lyrics to the Spice Girls’ _Wannabe._ Oblivious to her audience, she vigorously dried her hair with a towel while singing the chorus on her way out the door. Her shrill voice echoed off the tile several seconds after she had left.

Myfanwy and Eliza simultaneously turned to look at each other and immediately broke out into hysterics. As Myfanwy’s body racked with uncontrollable laughter, she had to lean her head against Eliza’s shoulder to keep from toppling over onto the floor. Eventually, the bubbling in her chest began to die down, and she was able to breathe again. And then she was all too aware that she was touching Eliza’s bare skin.

Myfanwy’s eyes traveled down to her cream-colored thighs. She resisted the urge to reach out and run her hands along the toned muscles. Licking her suddenly dry lips, she slowly raised her head, afraid that she’d see revulsion in Eliza’s eyes. But instead there was only softness.

Myfanwy smiled shyly, unsure what her expression meant. “Shower’s open.”

“You can go first,” Eliza offered.

“You’ve been waiting longer than I have,” Myfanwy said, shaking her head. A strand of hair fell into her eyes and she tucked it behind her ear. “I’ll see you at breakfast.”

Eliza chewed on her bottom lip as if she was considering something. After a moment, she stood from the bench, stretching her arms leisurely above her head, and then made her way to the shower. But as she walked across the room, she swayed her hips in a manner that seemed almost intentionally seductive. And with each step, she lowered her towel little by little, so her entire back was exposed once she had reached the stall. Eliza glanced over her shoulder to make sure Myfanwy was watching before letting the towel fall to the floor.

Myfanwy’s heart thundered in her chest, and her blood roared in her ears as she stared, slack-jawed at Eliza’s naked body. The lights flickered ominously overhead, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. All that mattered in the world was the two of them. Everything else was inconsequential.

Eliza smirked at her shocked expression. Satisfied, she grasped the shower curtain in her hand and closed it behind her as she stepped into the stall. Myfanwy was too stunned to form a coherent thought. She pinched herself on the arm to make sure she wasn’t still dreaming and gasped at the pain. It wasn’t a figment of her imagination.

Eliza Gestalt had given her a strip tease.

It was no secret that the Gestalt siblings felt something for her. She had suspected it for months but hadn’t been sure until recently. The signs were impossible to miss: an accidental brush of their hands on hers as they walked side-by-side, the sultry timbre their voices took on when they were alone with her, the sadness that filled their eyes anytime she mentioned a past love interest.

But this time was different. Because none of them had ever been so bold.

They were like children playing with a box of matches; the thrill of the spark overshadowed any fear that they would get burned. Myfanwy struggled to understand how all four siblings could want her without there being any competitiveness between them. It was as if they didn’t care who she chose as long as she chose one of them. No matter how indifferent they appeared, though, she didn’t want to create conflict if she chose one sibling and not the others.

Thus, she dreamt that she didn’t have to choose at all.

The swish of a curtain opening snapped her from her thoughts. As soon as the teenage red-head stepped out, Myfanwy rushed into the stall and turned the water on to the coldest setting she could tolerate. She leaned against the wall and sighed as the spray cooled her overheated body. Picking up a bottle from her caddy, she lathered her rose-scented soap over her skin, then rinsed the suds from the swell of her breasts and in-between her thighs, and tried not to think of Eliza doing the same a few stalls over.

It was tempting to take matters into her own hands, but because the showers were so busy and the object of her desire was so close, she saved the memory of Eliza stripping for later that night when she'd be alone in her bed.

Once she was able to think clearly again, she shut the water off and wrapped herself in the towel she had hung along the wall. She took a deep breath before pulling back the curtain to peer down at the stall Eliza had occupied. A small smile that had been playing on her lips fell, seeing that it was empty.

Myfanwy shook her head and grabbed her supplies.

Although her roommate was gone when she opened the door to their room, the smell of her floral perfume still hung heavily in the air. Relieved to be alone, she sprawled herself on the bed and replayed the image of Eliza dropping her towel over and over in her mind. She laid there as long as she could, thinking of the sharp angles of her shoulder blades and the soft curve of her arse, but eventually time caught up with her.

With an exasperated sigh, she stalked across the room to the wardrobe and pulled out a clean set of clothes. She wrinkled her nose at the uniform, swiping her thumb across the emblem on the navy jumper. The complete lack of individuality was one of the many things she still hadn’t quite come to terms with since being brought to Glengrove. After she dressed, she quickly ran a brush through her hair, then raced out the door.

Downstairs, she pushed open the double doors to the dining hall and scanned the room for any of the blonde-haired siblings. Only a few stragglers remained after the breakfast rush, but in the far corner of the room, she recognized Robert and Teddy sitting together at one of the tables. Before she made her way toward them, she picked up a tray and topped it with a serving of eggs and sausage from the buffet. She also filled a glass with water and grabbed an apple for later.

With the tray balanced in her hands, Myfanwy walked across the room to their table and slid into the seat opposite them. She frowned at the fact that they were sitting in silence, not even looking at each other. “Are you two not speaking?”

Teddy smirked. “You want me to talk to myself?”

“Haha. You’ve had your laugh,” Myfanwy muttered. She stabbed her fork into one of the links of sausage and brought it to her mouth. “Don’t you think it’s time to drop the act?”

Alex appeared behind her carrying a tray stacked with enough sausage, beans, and toast to feed everyone at the table. “It’s not an act, Myfanwy. You just don’t believe me.”

She gaped at the abundance of food. “Are you going to eat all that?”

He lowered himself into the chair next to her, and his blue eyes widened in childlike innocence. “I’m hungry.”

Myfanwy laughed at his expression, her irritation melting away. She could never stay mad at any of them for long.

While the others ate their breakfast, she pushed her eggs around on her plate and stared absently at the table. It made her nervous that Eliza hadn’t shown yet. Shame coursed through her at the thought that she regretted what happened in the showers. Myfanwy rubbed her hand across her face as if she could erase the memory. When she finally looked up, she found that Robert was watching her curiously.

Her face flushed from the heat of his gaze.

As she looked over his appearance, she was reminded of the day the Gestalt siblings had returned from a training exercise in South America. After being gone two weeks, the boys had walked into the dining hall, proudly sporting various stages of facial hair growth. As soon as they stopped in front of Myfanwy’s table, she burst into laughter to the point of tears, and then immediately felt guilty when she saw the hurt look in their eyes.

They all shaved after they’d finished eating.

It took her a week to work up the courage to admit she actually thought the stubble suited Robert. And he hadn’t shaved since.

Eliza suddenly slid into the last chair with a coy smile, but she covered it up by bringing the straw of her drink to her mouth. Although she hadn't said a word to her siblings, by their matching mischievous expressions, Myfanwy suspected they already knew what was going on in her head. She narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “What are you so happy about?”

“It’s a secret.”

Myfanwy quirked an eyebrow at their synchronicity. “Did you rehearse this?”

Robert leaned forward across the table, lowering his voice so only she could hear. “I want to show you something tonight. Will you meet me after curfew check?”

“What about Garrick?” she mused, thinking about their mutual friend who often accompanied them on their late-night excursions. “Does he get to know your secret, too?”

Teddy shook his head. “Let’s leave Garrick out of it.”

Eliza placed her hand gently over Myfanwy’s. “I want it to be just us.”

Myfanwy nodded numbly, not trusting herself to speak. It took every ounce of her self-control not to take Eliza’s hand in her own or to angle her head upward and seal her lips to Robert’s. At her side, Alex’s fork clanged noisily against the plate as he polished off the last of his beans. Then, he reached out and picked up Myfanwy’s apple off her tray. He studied it for a moment before biting into it.

“What the fuck, Alex?!” Myfanwy cried. As he chewed, a bit of juice dribbled down his chin. She reflexively raised her hand to wipe it away, but stopped herself at the last second. Instead, she tried to pass it off as picking some lint off her jumper and hoped none of the others noticed. “I was going to eat that!”

Alex bared his teeth in a wide grin. He turned to face her, holding the apple in his open palm for her to take. “Be my guest.”

Myfanwy was never one to back down from a challenge. So, naturally, she grabbed the apple from his outstretched hand and took a bite of her own. The sweetness of the fruit coated her tongue, and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a little turned on knowing that she was also tasting the essence of Alex. “You don’t scare me.”

Alex blinked at her in surprise.

Across the table, Robert and Teddy shifted uncomfortably in their seats, and avoided meeting her eyes.

Eliza cleared her throat. “Class is about to start. I’ll walk with you.”

Robert stood from the table and held out his hand. Myfanwy looked at the other siblings to see if they were also confused by Eliza’s comment, but they had already busied themselves with cleaning up the trays. She shrugged, deciding it was just a slip of the tongue, and followed Robert to the double doors that led out to the main hall.

As they walked to their classroom, Robert’s shoulder occasionally brushed against hers, and she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself from beaming. The hallways were crowded with students on their way to their morning lessons, but everyone seemed to steer clear of them as they passed. Upstairs, Robert took three long strides forward to open the door for her. He pressed his hand to her lower back as she stepped inside, sending a rush of warmth through her body.

Myfanwy maneuvered through the maze of desks to sit by the window overlooking the courtyard. She stared out at the blooming spring flowers while Robert settled himself at her side. He flipped through the pages of his notebook, occasionally underlining a sentence or two, until the lecture started a few minutes later.

The topic of the week was interrogation methods. Their instructor reviewed the types they had discussed the previous day, many of which blurred the lines of legality. Myfanwy struggled to focus on anything he was saying, though. She thought it was useless to know how to extract information from a target since she would never become a field agent. Unless she learned to control her EVA, she’d be relegated to a desk job. A career of filing paperwork and answering phones.

As if sensing her mind was elsewhere, Robert knocked his knee against hers under the table. She startled at the contact and looked at him from the corner of her eye. He tilted his head to the side in confusion. “Are you okay?” he whispered.

Myfanwy nodded stiffly. He didn’t look entirely convinced, so she gave him a reassuring smile, and then the worry lines in his forehead finally smoothed. He briefly returned her smile before turning his attention back to the instructor.

For the remainder of the hour, Myfanwy found herself increasingly fixated on Robert’s hands. He gripped his pen tightly between his thumb and forefinger, the black ink bleeding into the paper in front of him. The sleeves of his jumper were rolled up to his elbows, revealing the taut muscles in his forearms. It made her wonder what it would feel like to have his hands on her instead. She imagined his muscles rippling under the surface of his skin as he lifted her to straddle his hips. Heat pooled in her core at the thought, and she instinctively squeezed her thighs together.

To her embarrassment, her breath audibly hitched in her throat, and Robert looked up sharply from his notebook in alarm. He studied her for a moment then his eyes seemed to darken a few shades. He swiped his tongue across his bottom lip and opened his mouth as if to say something, but the sound of chairs shuffling stopped him before he could even get a word out. The other EVAs broke out into quiet conversations on their way out the door, completely unaware of the sexual tension between Myfanwy and Robert.

Neither of them immediately moved. Tearing her eyes away, Myfanwy stole a glance at her white sheet of notebook paper. Although she hadn't written a single sentence, she had drawn a poor imitation of a dahlia at the top corner. Out of curiosity, she peered over at Robert’s notebook, and then frowned. His elegant handwriting covered the entire paper, as well as the margins. “How do you always do that?”

Robert looked at her blankly. “Do what?”

Myfanwy huffed. “Divide your attention in a hundred different directions. Don’t think I didn’t notice you looking at me. You were barely focused in the last half of class.”

“It’s called compartmentalization. Try it sometime. You might find it effective,” Robert teased.

Myfanwy rolled her eyes. It wasn’t the first time she had heard that term. All of the Gestalt siblings referenced it anytime she asked how they excelled at a particular task. Frustratingly, it still left her with more questions than answers.

After the last EVA had filed out of the door, they stood from their table and slowly began to pack up their materials. They didn’t say it out loud, but they were both trying to prolong the few seconds they had left together. Outside the room, they smiled sadly at each other.

“I’ll see you later?” Myfanwy asked hopefully.

Robert laughed lightly under his breath and nodded. “Yeah.”

She didn’t know why he found her question so amusing, and she didn’t have time to ask. With a wave goodbye, she turned and walked the familiar path to the field on the West side of the building. As soon as she stepped outside, she sighed at the warmth of the sun on her skin. A group of EVAs sprinted ahead of her on their way to the field, all shouting that they would be the first one to make it there.

By the time she arrived, the instructor had already begun speaking to the EVAs amassed in front of him. Myfanwy stood in the back of the class and searched for Alex’s unruly curls in the crowd. It only took a moment to find him, standing off to the side with his hands shoved in his pockets. Although he looked almost bored listening to the instructions, she knew that he was paying close attention.

The instructor blew the whistle around his neck, and everyone took off in the direction of the track that led through the nearby woods. Alex turned on his heel to follow them, but stopped when he caught sight of her. Smiling, he jogged over to her instead.

“Hey, you,” Myfanwy greeted. They set off toward the track together, and she noticed that there was a trace of humor in his expression. She poked him just below his rib cage. “What’s so funny?”

Alex grinned at her as if she wasn’t getting the joke. “Nothing.”

Up ahead, the other EVAs were stretching at the edge of the field. Then, with a second blow of the instructor’s whistle, they all ran straight into the woods. Setting a fast pace, Myfanwy and Alex reached everyone else only a few seconds later. The ground was muddy after a recent rainfall, and sticks that had broken off from tree branches made it difficult to navigate without tripping.

But after thirty minutes, Myfanwy couldn’t take it anymore. Bending over at the waist, she braced an arm against a large oak tree as she gasped desperately for air. The muscles in her legs were burning from fatigue, and there was a painful cramp in her right side. Alex stopped dead in his tracks, noticing she had fallen behind.

Myfanwy waved away his concern. “No, keep going. You don’t have to wait for me.”

“I’m not going to leave you behind,” Alex argued. He took a step toward her, reaching out as if to touch her shoulder.

“Really, it’s fine,” she insisted, shaking her head. It took her a moment to catch her breath so she could continue. “I know you live for this sort of thing.”

Alex frowned. “What sort of thing?”

The EVAs they had overtaken on the path snickered as they ran past them, and Alex shot them a warning glare. Leaning back against the tree, Myfanwy nodded at the boys. “Taking charge. Being the best at everything you do.”

“Is that what you think of me? You think I’d abandon you in the woods to win a fucking race?” Although Alex’s tone was accusatory, he looked more hurt than angry.

Myfanwy shrugged. “I didn’t mean it as an insult. Your brothers and sister are the same way. I know you all take your training seriously. Hell, I even admire you for it. At least you have a future outside of this place.”

“Is that why you were so withdrawn earlier? You don’t think you have a future at the Checquy?”

“I’m dangerous, Alex. My EVA is deadly, and I can’t control it. I’m a ticking time bomb. No one in their right mind would want me as an agent,” she said bitterly.

In a flash, he was standing in front of her. Alex cupped her chin in his hands and forced her to meet his gaze. “You’re wrong. They’d be fucking idiots not to want you. Besides, I’m not afraid of you.”

Myfanwy couldn’t fight the smile that crept over her face.

Time seemed to be at a standstill as they stared into each other’s eyes. The air around them became heavy with anticipation. By his hooded eyelids, she suspected that he felt it, too. Swallowing nervously, Alex swiped his thumb across her cheek and looked down at her slightly parted lips. Then, he leaned in as if to kiss her.

Their instructor’s voice called out to them. “Oi, let’s get a move on!”

They broke apart, blushing.

Without saying anything, they took off for the tree line where the other EVAs had stopped to rest. After the break, they circled back to the building and made their way inside to the fitness center. The EVAs spread themselves out among the black mats on the floor to practice their self-defense skills. Alex pulled her by the hand to the mat farthest from everyone else and then nodded for her to get down on all fours.

They started with the basics before moving onto the more advanced maneuvers. At some point, Myfanwy found herself lying on her back with Alex straddling her hips. The objective was to throw him off, which was proving to be impossible. No matter how many times she tried, she couldn’t counter his massive body weight.

After yet another failed attempt, she groaned loudly in frustration. “Fuck! Alex, get off of me!”

“You have to throw me off, Myfanwy. In the field, your opponent isn’t going to stop attacking you because you ask them to,” Alex admonished, as if her ability to master the skill was of the utmost importance. She might have believed his sincerity if she hadn’t seen the smile tugging at his mouth. He repositioned himself over her body. ”Come on. Try again.”

“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?”

He didn’t deny it.

“One more time. Make sure to keep your elbows locked against your sides. It’ll give you more leverage,” Alex said, securing her arms. Satisfied, he nodded and then placed his hands back at her throat. “And wrap all your fingers around my wrist, including your thumb. Don’t let me break free. Good. Now, thrust your hips up and throw me off.”

Although her expectations were low, she followed his instructions, and within seconds she was on top of Alex. She gaped at him for a moment, then broke out laughing. “I did it!”

“I always knew you could,” he grinned.

They remained like that for a long time. Once the euphoria subsided, she became acutely aware of the intimacy of their position. With her lower half nestled in-between his legs, she felt him begin to stir. A bead of sweat trickled down the nape of her neck, but she didn’t think it was from the exertion of their sparring.

Alex’s chest heaved under her weight. Tentatively, he stretched out his hand to tuck back a strand of hair that had fallen loose from her ponytail. Before she could react, the whistle sounded across the room, and everyone noisily rose to their feet. The disappointment was evident in his expression.

Myfanwy shifted back on her heels to let him sit up. He pushed himself to stand, then held out his hand to help her do the same. She smiled shyly at the simple gesture. Neither of them mentioned what happened as they walked side-by-side to the main floor. More than once, she thought he was about to say something, though he always seemed to change his mind. And then it was too late. They parted ways at the ornate staircase, promising to see each other soon.

The rest of the morning passed in a blur. She didn’t remember attending her last two classes, but suddenly it was time for lunch. The EVAs crowded into the hallways, talking animatedly amongst themselves on their way to the dining hall.

Myfanwy had spent so much time daydreaming about the Gestalt siblings that the prospect of seeing them filled her with a sense of dread. They would surely hate her knowing what she had done with all of them. She had crossed too many lines. And the guilt was immeasurable.

Sighing, she turned to the only place she felt safe.

A minute later, she stepped outside and into the garden. Among the flourishing tulips and peonies and hydrangeas, a singular concrete bench sat in the center of the courtyard. Myfanwy walked the cobblestone path toward the bench and scanned the area to make sure that she was alone. Then, she allowed herself to reflect on everything.

She was attracted to all four Gestalt siblings. And it was wrong. It was shameful. It was an embarrassment that she would never live down if anyone discovered the truth.

They had only become friends less than a year ago. It had taken her so long to make any sort of progress at Glengrove, to be able to make it through a single day without going catatonic. The trauma of being taken so abruptly from her home and her family had been insurmountable. The first three years were lost to the fog. All she could recall was the paper medicine cups delivered by the rotation of nurses.

The Gestalt siblings were her first real memory.

There was something so different about them. Although she never understood it, they were outsiders, too. They were like ghosts to the other EVAs. No one saw them for who they really were. She had always suspected it was because of their EVA. She tried not to take offense that they hadn’t told her their true abilities. For months, they touted the idea that they were one person, but she had no reason to believe them.

She forgave them for not trusting her with their secret, though. Because she was in love with them. And, inexplicably, she couldn’t bring herself to regret it. She couldn’t deny her feelings any more than she could deny the power that she wielded at her fingertips. It was outside of her control.

“What are you thinking about?”

The voice made her nearly jump out of her skin. Not from the fact that it surprised her, but because it was too familiar.

Her eyes fluttered open, and she blinked against the harsh sunlight. “Hi. Um, nothing. What are you doing out here?”

Teddy smirked. “Looking for you. You weren’t at lunch.”

Pulling his hands out from his pockets, he lowered himself onto the bench next to her. He spread his legs out in front of him, so their knees almost touched. If it had been anyone else, she would have been irritated by the invasion of her space. But because it was Teddy, she found herself disappointed that he stopped short of actually touching her.

“I wasn’t hungry,” Myfanwy lied. She turned her attention back to the courtyard before he could catch her staring at the slight bulge in his trousers. “Thought I’d come sit outside for a bit. It’s a beautiful day.”

Teddy hummed in agreement. But instead of looking at the cloudless blue sky, his eyes remained on her. She felt her cheeks flush, though he didn’t tease her for it like she thought he would.

Inside the building, they could hear several EVAs traversing through the hallways. Laughter spilled out into the courtyard, as well as the occasional insult between feuding friends.

None of it mattered, though. It didn’t matter that anyone could glance out of the windows and see her sitting with Teddy Gestalt. It didn’t matter that she hadn’t actually worked through any of her feelings.

All that mattered was that moment with Teddy.

But that beautiful moment came to an abrupt and tragic end when she heard Teddy’s voice crack beside her. “Don’t move.”

It was a reflex to want to move anyway. She didn’t, though. Over the months, she had seen the entire spectrum of Gestalt emotions. All four siblings could give a person whiplash trying to keep up with their constantly changing moods. But she couldn’t think of a single instance when Teddy had been afraid. “Why?” she breathed.

“There’s a bee on you.”

It wasn’t the answer she was expecting. Instinctively, she raised her hand to shoo it away, then stopped as she remembered what the doctors had told when she first arrived at Glengrove. She was deathly allergic to bee venom.

“What?! Where?!” she panicked.

Teddy’s eyes were trained intently on her left shoulder. “Stay still! It’ll sting you if it’s startled.”

Her body was tense with fear. She wasn’t sure she was still breathing as she waited for the bee to either fly away or to send her into anaphylactic shock. Then, after seconds or minutes, the bee’s wings began to buzz, and it took flight into the air. It hovered near them for a while, seemingly uninterested in the flowers at their feet.

“Move slowly and get behind me.”

Teddy stretched his arm across her front as if to shield her. Myfanwy swallowed, then braced her hands on the bench to inch her way behind him. Suddenly, the bee advanced toward her, and Teddy stuck his hand out to swat it away.

“Fuck!” he snapped.

“Teddy! Are you okay?” Myfanwy shrieked. Her eyes searched wildly for the bee, but she didn’t see it anywhere.

“I’m fine. Let’s get you inside,” Teddy said dismissively. He helped her to stand, then pressed his hand into her back for her to walk ahead of him. As they returned to the building, she noticed that he kept glancing over his shoulder. It wasn’t until the door closed behind them that he breathed a sigh of relief. Then, he turned to look her over for any sign of injury. “You didn’t get stung, did you?”

Myfanwy resisted the urge to roll her eyes at his demanding tone. Teddy was back to his old self. “No. Now let me look at your hand.”

Teddy shook his head. “It’s nothing.”

Huffing, she reached down to his side to bring his hand up to her face. The skin at his knuckles had puckered, and there was a small red dot in the center. If it hurt, he didn’t show it. When she looked up to meet his eyes, she was surprised to see an uncharacteristic softness in his expression. Reluctantly, she let go of his hand. “You didn’t have to do that.”

He flexed his hand experimentally. “Better me than you.”

Myfanwy didn’t know what to say. Before she could even think of a way to thank Teddy for his heroism, the hallways swarmed with EVAs, signaling that lunch had ended, and the afternoon lessons were about to begin.

“I have to go,” she murmured.

Teddy nodded sadly. “I’ll see you at dinner?”

Myfanwy smiled assuredly. She waited for Teddy to turn and leave, but he stood there waiting for her to be the first one to walk away. It wasn’t a battle she was going to win, so she wordlessly stepped into the stream of EVAs heading to the Southside of the building. And she didn’t look back.

The rest of the day passed without further incident. She attended all of her classes and listened with mild interest in most of them. Then, she ate dinner with the Gestalt siblings and a few of their mutual friends. Although there were times where it felt like there was something left unspoken between them, they didn’t treat her any differently in front of the others. And finally, she was able to spend a quiet evening with her roommate. She didn’t know if Lara had forgotten their conversation that morning, but she didn’t mention Myfanwy’s dreams again.

At least, she didn’t until they turned out the lights.

Lara settled herself under the sheets, turning on her side to face the wall. After letting out a yawn, she glanced slyly over her shoulder at Myfanwy. “Sweet dreams.”

Myfanwy froze in the middle of fluffing her pillow. Their conversation hadn’t been forgotten after all. Her panic was short-lived, though. Within minutes, Lara’s soft snores filled the air, and the tension left her body. Taking a deep breath, she stared up at the ceiling as she waited for the tell-tale footsteps of the faculty outside her room.

However, she must have drifted off because the sound of light tapping on her door startled her awake. Three barely-there knocks in quick succession. She glanced anxiously at her roommate, holding her breath as if the noise of her exhale would wake her if the knocking hadn’t already. But she continued to lay there motionless.

Myfanwy pushed herself out of bed and put on a pair of shoes by the wardrobe. Then, she padded quietly across the room. Bracing one hand on the doorframe, she tried to ease open the door slowly enough that the light from the hallway wouldn’t disturb Lara. Once she had it open wide enough, she stepped through the small gap, then closed it soundlessly behind her.

Eliza smiled at her mischievously. She held a finger to her lips and motioned for Myfanwy to follow her. It took some time to make it downstairs since they had to stop twice to avoid running into faculty members checking for EVAs out past curfew.

After a brief detour through the archives, they ducked into the kitchen just as heavy boots thudded around the corner. They pressed their ears to the door and listened as the footsteps grew louder and louder and then stopped. Whoever it was on the other side, they stood there for several moments before turning and walking away.

Myfanwy sighed in relief, and Eliza snickered.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Her head snapped toward the sound of Teddy’s voice. He leaned casually against one of the countertops with his arms crossed over his chest, and the corners of his lips turned up in a smirk. The moonlight shining in through the windows made him look even paler than normal, if that was possible.

Realizing that he was alone, she wanted to ask if their other two siblings were still coming, then thought better of it. They already had her outnumbered.

Myfanwy knew that she wouldn’t be able to think clearly if she was too close to Eliza or Teddy, so she jumped onto one of the countertops halfway between them. Swinging her feet against the cabinets below, she nodded her head at Eliza. “So, what’s this secret you’ve dragged me out of bed for?”

Eliza pouted. “I hardly dragged you out of bed. Besides, you’ve never complained about breaking curfew in the past.”

“Yes,” Myfanwy agreed. Typically, skipping curfew was _her_ idea. A remnant of her old self, perhaps. The thrill-seeking side of her that threw caution to the wind and didn’t care about the consequences of her actions. Sighing, she looked wistfully out of the window. “But this time I actually have to be up in the morning. I have my first therapy session tomorrow.”

Teddy winced at the word therapy. “You don’t need a shrink.”

“I agree. Farrier, however, does not,” Myfanwy muttered. It had been a point of contention between them in recent weeks. After months of training, she still hadn’t learned to control her EVA, and therapy was the only method they hadn’t yet tried. Still, that didn’t mean she had to like it.

“Who’s your doctor?” Eliza asked curiously.

Myfanwy frowned, trying to think of the name. “Bristol. Andrew Bristol.”

“I’ve never heard of him.”

“I think he’s a new consultant,” she admitted. In truth, it was the only fact she knew about him with any degree of certainty. Farrier tried to sell Bristol on her _because_ he wasn’t associated with Glengrove House. Any negative experiences she’d had with the resident doctors didn’t apply to him. They could start with a clean slate.

Teddy smoothed back his hair. “He sounds like a knob.”

Myfanwy laughed lightly under her breath. “Probably.”

The silence stretched between them as none of them quite knew what to say. She looked between the siblings, waiting for one of them to tell her their secret. Simultaneously, Eliza and Teddy brought their hands to the mouths.

“I’m going to convince you of my EVA,” they said at last.

“This again?” Myfanwy whined. She threw herself off the countertop, then started toward the door. “If you don’t want to tell me your actual EVA, that’s fine. But don’t pretend you’re all the same person. It’s just absurd.”

Eliza leapt in front of her, effectively blocking her path. “Ask me anything! Something I couldn’t possibly know unless I was telling the truth.”

She was too tired to play their games. If they wanted to have this discussion for the hundredth time, they could have at least chosen to do it during the day. But, she could see the resolve in Eliza’s eyes, and she knew that she wasn’t going anywhere. She made an irritated noise and turned to look pointedly at Teddy. “What woke me up this morning?”

“Lara yelled at you because you overslept,” he answered easily.

She looked back at Eliza, unimpressed. “You told him that.”

Eliza smiled patiently. “No, I didn’t.”

Myfanwy buried her head in her hands and groaned. A headache was starting to build in one of her temples, and she didn’t have the patience to ask questions all night. Before she could tell them to forget it, Eliza gently pulled her hands away from her face and gave her an encouraging nod to continue. She didn’t have the heart to tell her no.

“When I was in class with Robert this morning, I drew something in my notebook. What was it?” Myfanwy raised her eyebrows expectantly.

“A dahlia.”

Myfanwy shook her head at Teddy. “That one was too obvious. We were out there this afternoon, so you probably noticed me looking at them.” She paced the kitchen until she reached the fridge, then turned back again. “Fine. What advice did Alex give me on my self-defense technique?”

“Keep your elbows locked against your sides. And wrap all your fingers around my wrist, including your thumb,” Eliza replied.

Frustrated, she ran her fingers through her hair. It was useless. She was no match for their delusions. Sidestepping Eliza, she made to open the door. “Did you all compare notes after dinner? Your dedication is honestly quite impressive, but I need—”

“Ask me something else!”

Myfanwy squeezed her eyes shut. Her hand was on the doorknob, all she needed to do was turn it, and she could go back to bed. But she couldn’t deny them anything. She turned and pointed to a spot just below her collarbone. “True or false? Out in the courtyard today, a bee landed on me right here.”

“False. It was here.” Eliza pressed her manicured finger to the top of Myfanwy’s left shoulder.

Myfanwy looked past her to glare at Teddy. “You’re cheating.”

Teddy started to shake his head.

“What will it take for me to convince you?” Eliza asked sadly.

It was a good question. She thought about it for a minute. If she was going to put their ridiculous claims to rest, once and for all, she needed something foolproof. A thought occurred to her then. An incredibly salacious thought. And it was too tempting to resist.

“Close your eyes and put your hands behind your back.”

Teddy frowned. “Why?”

“If you’re telling the truth, then you would know what happens to all of your bodies, right?” Myfanwy challenged. She pulled open various cabinets and drawers until she found two kitchen towels that would suit her purposes.

Eliza looked enthralled by her line of questioning. “Yes.”

Myfanwy stepped behind Teddy to secure the first towel around his wrists. Then, she wrapped the second towel around his head so he couldn’t see. Once she was satisfied with her work, she pressed her mouth to his ear. “So, you should be able to tell me exactly where Eliza is being touched.”

Teddy swallowed thickly. “Why do my hands need to be restrained?”

“I don’t trust you not to peek,” Myfanwy smirked.

He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and grinned. Myfanwy returned to Eliza’s side and searched her face for any sign of fear or apprehension. She didn’t look afraid, but Myfanwy asked anyway to be sure. “Are you okay with this?”

Eliza licked her lips and nodded.

Slowly, she reached out to take Eliza’s hand. It was small and soft in her own, and she stroked her thumb across her knuckles. Although she was the daintiest of the siblings, she was still a force to be reckoned with in her own right.

“Left hand,” Teddy murmured.

Myfanwy snapped her head in his direction. The makeshift blindfold was still fastened over his eyes, and she didn’t think the material was thin enough to see through. A lucky guess, then.

Next, she brought her other hand up to Eliza’s shoulder. The cotton of her shirt was stretched at the top, and if she moved her hand a little to the left, she would be able to touch the scar on her collarbone.

Teddy’s head bowed forward. “Right shoulder.”

Myfanwy pulled back her hand as if she’d been burned. Her heart beat erratically in her chest, and she waited for it to slow before proceeding. Brushing her hair aside, she tentatively touched the nape of Eliza’s neck.

“Back of my neck,” Teddy said gruffly.

A high-pitched ringing started in her ears. She thought her knees might buckle underneath her, but Eliza placed her hands on her hips to help steady her. After taking a shuddering breath, she looked into Eliza’s hopeful green eyes, and it was like she was seeing her for the first time. As if she understood, Eliza raised her hand to caress Myfanwy’s cheek.

She leaned into the touch, then lowered her lips to Eliza’s.

Teddy let out a strangled groan. “Lips.”

Myfanwy trailed her hand up Eliza’s arm to rest on top of the hand that covered her cheek. Then, before their lips even met, both siblings suddenly hissed in pain. Myfanwy’s brows pinched together in concern. “Are you okay?”

Eliza nodded. “Bee sting. I told you, it’s nothing.”

And then it all made sense. Everything fell into place. The way the other EVAs looked at them. The way they finished each other’s sentences. The way they knew what happened to each other’s bodies. It was all because they were the same person. They weren’t four siblings. They were all Gestalt.

Unhesitatingly, she crushed her mouth to Eliza’s.

Eliza let out a small gasp of surprise, and then her lips began to move. The kiss was everything she wanted it to be and more. It was sweet and tender. It was hard and desperate. It ignited a fire within her that she never knew existed.

And, as if she wasn’t already inflamed by the kiss, Eliza’s hands began to feverishly explore her body. Myfanwy bit back a moan at the feel of her thumbs brushing under her breasts. Encouraged, Eliza’s hands traveled all the way down to her arse. She tore her lips away from Eliza’s to nip at her earlobe and suck at her throat.

She lost all sense of time or reason. There was nothing else in the world besides her and Eliza. No. _Gestalt_. Nothing in the world besides her and Gestalt. Because, by some twist of fate, she didn’t have to choose. She didn’t have to make excuses anymore. She could have all of them, and she didn’t have to be ashamed.

But it only took one word to send her crashing down. One word to break her heart.

“Stop!”

Myfanwy reared back as if she had been slapped.

In front of her, Eliza clutched a hand to her chest, trying to catch her breath. Her eyes were glazed over as she stared blankly at nothing. In the corner, Teddy let out a whimper and buckled onto his knees, hitting the floor with a thud. His hands strained against the binding, but he was too weak to break it.

And that’s when she realized that the kitchen lights were flickering above them. Panicked, she glanced down at her hands, and her blood ran ice cold seeing the dusty charcoal left behind by her EVA. If they hadn’t stopped her, she would have killed them.

“Fuck,” Myfanwy whispered, barely audible. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have come down here with you. This…this was a mistake. I’m so sorry.”

Pressure built up behind her eyes at the admission, and she fled the room before they could hurl insults at her. As much as she deserved to hear it, she couldn’t bear the thought of them calling her a monster.

Upstairs, she let herself back into her room. Lara was still fast asleep in bed, blissfully unaware of what happened in the kitchen. Myfanwy locked the door, then tiptoed to her side of the room and slipped beneath the cold covers. Her body shivered violently, but not from the chill.

She lost control of her EVA, and it hurt Gestalt.

They would always hate her after this. They would never trust her again. She lost her best friend, and it was no one’s fault but her own.

At that moment, she made herself a promise. She would obey whatever orders Farrier gave her. She would pay attention to all of her lessons and attend all of her therapy sessions. She would try to learn to control her EVA. And, most importantly, she wouldn’t allow herself to be distracted by Gestalt. For their own safety, it was best they forgot everything that happened between them.

It was the ultimate sacrifice, but she would do it. Because she loved them.

* * *

They inhaled the scent of rose oil on her skin. It was all they could do not to fall to their knees and worship at her feet. She was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. The heat of her touch spread through them like wildfire, scorching the earth until all that remained was ash. They wanted to feel the flames licking at all the surfaces of their skin, but they had to settle for the one body.

She had always been stubborn to a fault, and yet she’d surprised them that night. They were prepared to go to extreme lengths to convince her of their EVA, to finally put an end to her misapprehension that they were liars. Of all things, liars!

Myfanwy was the only person in the world that they felt indebted to tell the truth. Always.

And then she was all over them. Her tongue was twisted in their mouth, and her hands were tangled in their hair. She pressed her body into theirs so they could feel every tantalizing curve. They dug their fingers into her arse as if they could hold her against them forever. And that’s what they wanted. They wanted a life with Myfanwy. Fuck Glengrove. Fuck the Checquy. All they needed was _her_.

They were one identity strategically spread out among four bodies. They were four, but always one. And Myfanwy finally realized it. She accepted it. And they loved her all the more for it.

They reveled in the little noises she made as they ravished her. She lost herself in them, surrendered herself to them. But soon, they came to the startling realization that they were losing themselves, too. Every touch shocked through all of their bodies like an electric current.

Eliza melted into her kisses. Teddy sagged against the wall and panted as if he’d run a marathon. Upstairs, Robert and Alex laid in bed, burying their heads in their pillows and gripping their sheets so tightly in their hands that the elastic snapped loose from the corner of their mattresses.

Never in their life had anyone reached inside all of them. At any other time, it would have an exhilarating experience. But their senses were already so heightened being with Myfanwy that it was too much all at once.

They think they told her to stop. They were beyond overwhelmed and needed a second for the world to stop spinning. Somehow, she had made them so dizzy that they weren’t even sure they were still standing upright.

In the darkness, the only sounds to fill the silence were their shallow breaths. But they would have preferred the silence to the words that came out her mouth next. Because it only took four words to break all four of their hearts.

“This was a mistake.”

All the blood drained from their faces as they watched her run away from them. The room suddenly felt so incredibly cold, and they pressed their fingers to their lips to feel the warmth she left behind. A small reminder that it wasn’t a dream.

They racked their minds trying to think if they’d mistaken everything. The blush that rose to her cheeks. The eyes that fixated on their mouths. The hitches in her breath. The touches that lasted a beat too long. Did they imagine all of it? Or, did they pressure her into it?

They felt sick to their stomachs. They had no other choice.

Although the fire still raged within them, they would let her go. Because they loved her.


End file.
